MKE AKATA HUSBAND'S MANHOOD :BARAAA

DISORDER IN THE AMERICAN COURTS....!
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ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
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ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
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ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s twenty, much like your IQ.
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ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you ****ting me?
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ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
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ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
W ITNESS : Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
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ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
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ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.
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ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
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ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
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ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
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ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
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ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
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And the best for last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law





REASONS FOR LOW DIVORCE RATE "IN AFRICA" COMPARED TO "IN AMERICA"

I don’t think that the African American men are doing badly in the marriage sector.

When confronted with issues like this, I like to think beyond the present day situation and look back at our fore fathers. The Blackman and blackwoman are Africans. The fact that they have been in America for so many years does not change that hereditary factor.

Why don’t we understand that the African man today, is just like the African American man today, when it comes to dealing with their women. So, sub-conciously, the black man wants that African world in America, but it is not available. So, they rebel in their own way.

The reason there is such a low divorce rate today in AFRICA THAN IN AMERICA can be equated with the following:

1. Family ties. The African man lives for his people – family and friends, not just for himself.

2. Due to the extended family system, your friends and family can always come in and chastise any of the married couples about their bad behavior. And they will listen.

3. Because almost everybody knows your wife or husband, there is that lowered tendency to go out and cheat.

4. The woman learned to understand that leaving your man because he cheated on you is a waste of time, because the next one will cheat on you, anyway. So, they stay, and with the help of the family and friend, that issue is resolved.

5. The African woman realizes that if she treats her man right, he can always have that fling, but he will surely comeback home.

6. The chances of a woman with a baby getting married to a man without a baby is very low in the African community. As a result, the woman is compelled to stay and make it work.

7. The African man realizes that this can happen to their sisters also, so morally, they stay in their own relationships and make it work.

8. Very few African women try to control their household or their man, no matter how much money they make above his. And those who have succeeded in getting a divorce due to the fact that they are making more money that their husband find it difficult to re-marry, since the people see her as bossy.

9. Most of the African women are circumcised. As a result, their sex drive are not as hot as their male counterpart. But today, that is changing because most of the women are no longer being circumcised, and the difference is visible by the sexual drives of the current generation of African women.

10. And most importantly, because some African societies still support polygamy, the women are not quick to leave a man when he looks at other women, as long as he doesn’t bring her home.

11. The women cheat less than their men. The African man is forced by the family and friends to leave the woman for cheating, but are quick to force the woman to stay even when her husband cheats. Double standard. But that’s the truth.

BUT THIS IS AMERICA, AND THIS WILL SOUND LIKE FAIRY TELL TO YOU. BUT IT IS THE PLAIN TRUTH.

Note that the AFRICANS who moved to the US within the last 10 to 30 years do have the same divorce rate as the African Americans… It is like a fairy tale to tell an American that a man is supposed to date several women, all at once. Americans do not believe in allowing their men to have multiple women. The African American men are struggling to suppress their natural desire to sleep with several women, and they are trying to deal with what the society has considered a social norm – one man one wife. So, under the circumstances, they are doing well, to maintain a divorce rate; which although seems high, could have been worse, being that they have the AFRICAN BLOOD IN THEM…

UMUHIMU WA KUFULI...!

...when breeze blow, fowl yansh go open. Lol. That's Albanian actress Arta Dobroshi at the recently concluded Cannes Film Festival.

HII NDO RINGI YA MKE WA BILLIONAIRE WA FB.

What is wrong with this Mark Zuckerberg, biko? Is it that he's cheap or he's saving money to save the world? He's worth $20 billion and that's the ring he bought for his wife? His new wife Priscilla Chan, 27, was spotted in California two days ago wearing her ruby wedding ring. It's not like its very cheap...experts say it's probably worth over $50 thousand dollars but that's cheap considering her husband is among the 15 richest men in the world...:-)

Not only that, she actually wore an off-the-rack wedding dress by Claire Pettibon worth a few hundred dollars on her wedding day. You two spend money, dammit! Lol

What happened to diamonds? You know some of these men can be unreliable. One day now he'll wake up from sleep, turn towards you and say 'I want a divorce'...and all you get is a wedding ring that you will be lucky to sell off at a pawn shop? *Hiss*

Meanwhile, I heard that Mrs Zuckerberg has no claim to one kobo of Mark's $20b. He married her just one day after he raked in $20 billion after taking Facebook public. Under California Law if one person builds a business and sells it immediately before being married the spouse has no legal claim to the proceeds of the sale. Priscilla as Mark's wife now has 50% interest in any proceeds earned from the growth of Facebook since they got married last week Saturday May 19th. And Facebook's stock is not doing very well now! *sigh*

Girl, get him to buy you better ring, and a mansion (consult Kobe Bryant's wife). Make hay while the sun shines...lol

MKE AKATA HUSBAND'S MANHOOD  :BARAAA

A 28 year-old woman, Janet Uduak, has been dragged to a customary court in Lagos by her husband, Kolawole Richard, for using a kitchen knife to slice his manhood when he attempted to sleep with her.

Janet, a mother of one, allegedly carried out the act because her husband demanded for sex against her wish.
The incident, which happened at 19, Jagun Street, Okokomaiko, on the outskirts of Lagos, got Richard seriously injured, causing him to lose his ability to have erection.